i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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