Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
