Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
