He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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