i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
