I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize