the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
