I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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