I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
