And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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