You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I love having hate sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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