just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize