it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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