Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Mom said you looked used
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
