Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
