I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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