Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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