Small penises have feelings too.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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