how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
