people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
