My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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