you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
