Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
