can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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