matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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