I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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