omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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