I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
