OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
