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my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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