i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
