We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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