Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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