I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
