I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
