Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
FUCK WHALES
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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