Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
