Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
