I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
