the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
