marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was like eating out sand paper
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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