I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
