Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You're like the curious george of whores
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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