Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
