Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
