just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
being pregnant is like rehab
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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