i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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