You just made me feel so damn special
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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