Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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