your parents love me but you hate me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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