currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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