hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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