bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
