I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
