I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
