I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
