their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
