Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
