I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
