Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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