you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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