how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
