whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
