I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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