O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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