You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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